Tuesday, June 29, 2010

All about Gemini!

Zodiac Signs - Gemini
Gemini Astrology May 21 - June20

Gemini Strength Keywords:

- Energetic
- Clever
- Imaginative
- Witty
- Adaptable
Gemini Weakness Keywords:

- Superficial
- Impulsive
- Restless
- Devious
- Indecisive
Gemini and Independence:

Gemini are extremely independent. They will not be pinned down by anyone or any rules. They need to experience the world on their own. Change and freedom are extremely important to Gemini, they will never let anyone dictate them, they are extremely independent and freedom is essential to their mental well being.


Gemini and Friendship:

Gemini make very interesting and exciting friends. They like to leave their mark on everyone they meet. They are very flighty and will disappear for a long time as they meet new friends and explore new places. But when they come back, they will have new thoughts, opinions and interesting things to share and ideas to teach. Life is very interesting and fun with a Gemini friend. If you need any advice, Gemini is the one to ask. They are masters of communication and they can help you get what you need by helping you with persuasion and enthusiasm, and they give good advice too. Do not however, bog a Gemini down with all of your emotional problems, they are not want to deal with it because it depresses them and steps on their freedom if you need too much long term help, support and follow up. A Gemini friend can fill you in with the latest gossip and if you love conversation, the Gemini delivers! They are very generous with their friends, they will spend lots of time with you and share everything with you. Even though Gemini is a social butterfly, they always need time for themselves and that should be respected.
Gemini and Business:

Gemini tends to disperse their energy on different tasks and not just focus on one thing thus leaving a trail of unfinished projects in their wake. If they were to focus their energy in one place, their cleverness and intelligence would allow them to complete their project with success and creativity. Gemini makes an excellent manager, they can motivate a team with their enthusiasm and vitality. They also make excellent salespeople because their ease of communication allows them to be clever and make a comeback to anything a person says. They can persuade and manipulate very well. They can easily justify any move they make and explain any action.
Gemini Temperament:

Gemini have the ability to react instantly to situations, and as a result, they have a very nervous temperament. They can be compared to a wound up spring as they attempt to absorb everything they can about their surroundings at once. The fact that they enjoy various situations and people add to their nervousness and that means they are almost constantly wound up. However, if they experience boredom and have nothing to survey, they get the same emotions, the need for excitement and variety. This is the Gemini duality, constantly conflicting emotions in one spontaneous, excitable package.
Gemini Deep Inside:

One downfall of Gemini is their superficiality. Instead of looking deep into a person's real qualities, Gemini will judge a person by the way they treat them. This can lead Gemini to have wrong impressions of people and can cause problems ion relationships. Gemini's can have feeling of discouragement and moodiness although they never allow this to be seen by anyone but heir closest friends or family. Gemini usually want everyone to think that they are always happy and doing wonderfully and stress never affects them.
Gemini in a Nutshell:

Gemini people are many sided, quick both in the mind and physically. They are brimming with energy and vitality, they are clever with words. They are intelligent and very adaptable to every situation and every person. Gemini are curious and always want to know what's going on in the world around them. They are not one to sit back and watch the world go by, they want to be involved. This can sometimes make Gemini nosy, they do not mind their own business! This is because they really enjoy communicating, more so then most other astrology signs, they are the ultimate social butterfly. Gemini can talk and talk, but they have interesting things to say, their talk is not mindless babble. They have interesting opinions and thoughts on things and are not afraid to speak their mind. They are always in the know and are the one to see for the latest juicy gossip. Lacking perseverance, Gemini easily goes off topic to explore another thought or idea. Gemini are superficial, they will form opinions on matter without diving into them and exploring them fully. This can lead them into thinking they know everything, which they usually do but their mind is too busy to be concerned with fine details. Routine and boredom are Gemini's biggest fears. Gemini would rather be naive then know the depressing truth, they do not want anything putting a damper on their freedom or positive energy.



Gemini Love, Sex and Relationships

What it's like to date a Gemini Woman:

The Gemini woman is truly enchanting. However, dating her might feel more like a friendship then a real relationship due to her casual nature. This is not necessarily a disadvantage, for the casual man who shy's away from overly romantic emotions, she is the perfect woman. Since she is the astrology sign of the duality, she offers quite the challenge. One one hand, she needs to be nurtured, loved and catered to and on the other hand, she needs stimulation and novelty. She is very demanding and if you do not provide what she wants, she will be off onto the next adventure pretty quickly. To keep her interested is a challenge, not completely impossible so she is the perfect woman for the man who likes stimulation and a challenge. She needs a partner with a quick mind, she tends to poke and prod at the emotions and the minds of those who are mentally slower then her, make sure you can keep up to her wit or you will briskly be left behind. She is prone to keeping men on a string, not completely heartlessly, she is evaluating if the man is worth her attention and her time she has no time to waste with a dull man. Once you have her approval, she can easily become jealous. The reason for her is jealousy is that if she is going to open up to a man, when she rarely completely opens up to anyone, she does not want to risk her being deceived or hurt. If you are with a Gemini woman and she becomes jealous, you are on the right track to true love! Gemini women are so exciting that they are worth the effort, you will remember her forever!
What it's like to date a Gemini Man:

He is a great date - charming, witty, funny, clever, talkative, creative, adventurous, just make sure you can keep up with him! Women are drawn to Gemini men because of their zest for life and their vitality and enthusiasm. You may have competition to if you are trying to win his heart. Do not expect to win him and keep him all to yourself. He is flighty and dictates his own,. He will not allow himself to be pinned down and ruled by a woman. You are going to be his sidekick, not his passionate lover. He loves women and is very good at persuading them and manipulating them with his cleverness getting them into bed, he will say anything to get what he wants. He is the master of seduction. If you are looking for a great fling, the gemini man is your top choice.

How To Attract Gemini:

Love to talk, that is the first rule about impressing a Gemini. Be knowledgeable about that you talk about too because Gemini are intelligent and have lots of knowledge about many things. If you are an expert on a certain topic, teach them about it, you will impress them because this know-it-all sign is does not usually know fine details about a lot of things, they are too busy to bother to learn. Speak your mind, engage them in a friendly debate but never be too conservative, they find this dull. Be honest and loyal to a Gemini, once they have had their trust broken they usually will never get it back again. Gemini are easy to date, they will do any activity anywhere. Just have fun, like you would with a friends because that's what Gemini are, a great friend.

Gemini Erogenous Zone:

Gemini's hot spots are the hands and arms. These are very sensitive regions and are very receptive a massage and a gentle touch or stroke. This also calms the high-strung Gemini and relaxes them, setting the mood for passion. Gemini's usually love their finger being sucked or nibbled, a great integration into foreplay that will heighten the mood. Gemini women love it when a man grabs their hand and kisses it, like a princess.

Sex With Gemini:

Gemini loves to experiment and sex with a Gemini is full of novelty and excitement, trying anything and everything nearly anywhere. Gemini is not for the faint of heart or the shy and secretive lovers!

`x estee x`

Monday, June 28, 2010

I'm so over being blue crying over you.

I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know!

You said the same thing too you know.
But never once, out loud.

`x estee x`

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I'm falling fast, but the truth is I'm not scared at all.

Back from Jakarta and there's so much to say! But I am thinking, blogging isn't gonna be easy. So I'll just keep the memories within my heart and mind. :)

I lack the motivation to come in blogger and blog about my happenings already. Cause it doesn't feel right at all. Now that I've got twitter, I find it easier to connect my thoughts with just sentences instead of paragraphs. Lately, so many sad incidents are happening to my close ones. I can't help but feel, affected too. But, I don't want it to be a problem for me. I'm not seeing it as a problem now, but I hope I don't in the future.

In Jakarta, one of the many long-hours ride made me ponder and think - Life's too short to have regrets. I thought of someone. Then another face appeared. And another, and another..

Right, I used to stubbornly insist that Estee Kho doesn't regret. But in actual fact, who doesn't? Don't blame a Gemini for her stubbornness, cause it's just it. Somehow, I couldn't swallow the fact that I've been living for 17 years. How the 17 years just went by like that, How much did I go through during this 17 years, How much ups have I felt rather than down and vice versa, etc.

I'm an aunt now. I've got nieces and nephews now. I'm 17 with a mind of my own and I have to choose my own direction I wish to head, with who I want, with what my goals are, etc.

I want to go back to my childhood so much, I want to have a child so much too. I just want the past and future, but not the present. It's a wonder why people say the present of my life now is the best, when everything seems to be a dead end with problems falling on me like a pile of bricks. It hurts. Then again, my resistance makes me feel, good. I don't wanna crumble under that pile of rocks. I don't want to succumb to fate. I want everyone around me to be happy. I want to be happy. But, how?

`x estee x`

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Tick, Tock, Tick.

Life is an irony,
Love is an agony.
Living is painful,
Loving is hurtful.
Look as it happened,
Leave as it dampens.
Learn to accept,
Lie to reject.
Level to your limits,
Listen to your minutes.

Tick, Tock, Tick.

`x estee x`

Friday, May 28, 2010

It's not that I don't want to, It's I don't even know how..

It's not that I don't want to, It's I don't even know how..
Now things have turned out this way, what am I even supposed to feel?

`x estee x`

And thank you for showing me, that girl friends cannot be trusted.

I think, I really think, you hurt me damn bad.
Friends? Girlfriends? Are you serious?
I supposed that night was a way of compensation?
And to think I felt so guilty for maybe joking a lil' too harsh that night.

I don't know man, I really don't.
What good will there be?
I can't believe you're such a person.
I don't know, I don't wanna know, I really don't know what to do anymore.
Why should I pretend that I don't care, when in actual fact I really do?

For all I know, you're constantly telling tales about me behind my back which are not even true and I'm still happily talking to you at your very face.

Know what girl? I am damn fucking sad, I am damn fucking hurt.

`x estee x`

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Seventeen!

I AM SEVENTEEN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! (:
LOTS TO UPDATE!

THANKS TO MANY MANY MANY PEOPLE FOR THE WISHES! :D

Will update more detailed soon!

`x estee x`

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased?



Now, don’t just walk away
Pretending everything’s ok
And you don’t care about me
And I know there’s just no use
When all your lies become your truths and I don’t care... yeah, yeah, yeah

Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you’re happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You took all there was to take,
And left me with an empty plate
And you don’t care about it, yeah.
And I am givin' up this game
I’m leaving you with all the blame cause I don’t care, yeah, yeah yeah,

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you’re happy now, oohh oohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now? yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you really have everything you want?
You can't ever give somethin' you ain't got
You can’t run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye?
and tell me that you're happy now, yeah, yeah
come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,
are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
are you happy now?

Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?
I’ve had all that I can take
I'm not about to break
Cause I’m happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Are you happy now?

`x estee x`

Saturday, May 15, 2010

F.love.

Fuck love.

`x estee x`

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.

Somehow or rather, I guess I can never forget 14 May..

Headed home after school then left house again at 8 to meet the lovely people for dinner.
Dinner was at Fish&Co. with David, Deborah, Desmond, Desmond's girl-friend (Jenelle?), Gordon, Priscilla and Titus.
It was meant to be a surprise birthday dinner for me.
Honestly, I didn't really expect cause there's still 8 days till my actual day.
But I'm really grateful for everything.
As usual, Pris treated me! :(
Cannot like that okay! Your birthday, my turn to treat youuu!

Oh, I guess I'm never gonna go Fish&Co. to celebrate my birthday again.
I was asked to stand on a chair and the waitresses shouted to the whole restaurant to sing a birthday song for me.
So much for the attention. :/
Me no likey attention. Especially when that scenario was bad enough.
But nonetheless, I'd still love to thank the lovely waitresses for the song. :)

Thank you all so much. It's indeed very memorable.
I can finally blog on mysilent-sayings after so long..

`x estee x`

Friday, May 14, 2010

An hour an a half.

This week's submission week!
So everyone in Design school is basically rushing through!
I am vey much used to it, yea so fast!

I've finally finished everything!
Unbelievable! But I'm very proud of myself! :)

Yay, Dinner tonight with Pris and the guys!
So long never see Pris already!
Right, tata! I shall prepare for school now!

`x estee x`

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Thirty-three hours.

The clock is ticking..

Time is running out.

I dread to see the outcome.


`x estee x`

Saturday, May 8, 2010

There can be miracles, when you believe.

I'm pretty much drained from the amount of work that is pending. Some of which are not even possible to be done now cause the camera has to be charged. I've been thinking of ideas for my FunDigPho's final assignment. I vividly remember I was pretty much the only one that went like 'YAY!' when I got my theme for the final assignment.

Name: Estee Kho Xiao Juan
Subject: Colors (with human touch)

Colors! I remember saying I love colors a lot somewhere here! And yes I really do! But taking a step back and analyzing further, it's not that easy to capture the essence of the theme. Colors! It's anywhere and everywhere! But how then, do I bring out the strength and message of the photo?

It's a challenge. It's my challenge.

I consulted Mathias yesterday and none of my photos couldn't be use to get a decent pass. I knew it. Even before I consulted him, I knew it. I was utterly disappointed with myself.
"Estee Kho, are you serious on showing these piece of crap? You know you're capable of doing better than that."

And indeed, Mathias directed that fact out.
"No.. We can't use any of that. Estee, I've seen your work. You're much capable than that. You're much more colorful than that. You have to see beyond the problem. Look at the solution and not the problem. Only then you're able to bring out your creativity. The solution is to think out of the box, being creative. And you definitely have that."

I finally understand why previous batches of Mathias broke down before him. Cause one thing for sure, I could have done so too yesterday. The words, the believe, the confidence Mathias have in us is insurmountable of what I felt lecturers would never have.

Stepping into poly life, we were all treated and respected as young responsible adults. And from what I observed, there isn't much connection a lecturer would have between students and themselves. I really do not want to let these people who believe in me down.

Think of the ordinary as the extraordinary.

`x estee x`

And till now, I've failed so badly.

It took me years to realise how the world is changing everyday. People move on from where they left the previous period. And for some, they can't seem to get out of their past and live each day with negative perceptions within the recesses of their heart. I am utterly disappointed with myself towards the needs of my friends.

Friends - They seem to be anywhere and everywhere. But how many? How many do I actually count as a friend whom I'll be most willing to share my problems with? And yet, how many am I actually able to let them rely on me to share their burdens and problems? I always say: "I'm always a call/sms away if you ever need someone to listen." "I'll be here whenever you need me." "Remember, don't keep everything to yourself. I'm always here." But honestly, am I really able to be there to keep up with my words and promises?

A very close friend of mine was telling me: "Why is this world so unfair? Why is everyone just thinking for themselves and not others? Why do we always have to give in to them?" I reflected and summed up: "In a friendship, it's like a game of Tug-o-War. Eventually, the loser will fall and the winner will be able to stay on form. Same goes for a friendship, one will naturally have to give in to the other to prevent hurt inflicted on both parties. Imagine none of us were to let the other, the consequences would have been both injuring themselves from the tension of the pull. It's tough to maintain a friendship with mutual understanding and concern, for everyone is different and unique in their own ways. There're always different perspectives to see a solution from a problem. But who then, will be able to judge that their perspective is indeed the right solution?

For now, I'm still learning to be a better friend.

And it's definite that I've failed so much as a friend, till now.

`x estee x`

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Ideation!

Oh Hi tinybitsoflove! It's been more than a month since I last blogged! School has started and well I've been packed with assignments non-stop! But I love my modules for this block! MOI is very much not what I expected - it's far better! Okay, at least for now school's been fun!

Right, should really go back to my ideation rationale now. Class's starting in another 45mins!

`x estee x`

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Walking Back To Memory Lane (I)

26 March 2010 ;

It was the very last day of work for me! Got to know Leslie, who was taking over my position & awesomely insane good pay, and taught him the ropes of being a Cafe Attendant of RHG! And so half of the day pretty much ended in a breeze and it was Lunch Time! Alicia, Cecelia, Hwei Yee, Joyce, Leanne and Pam treated Leslie and I to Sushi Tei for our Welcome & Farewell lunch respectively! And my god, they ordered insanely much! We were pretty much engaging in our conversation when suddenly Alicia received a phone call. Oh well, no wonder they say working life is never easy. And I agree! That's why I shall treasure my time of studying now! :)

Headed back to Dunman after lunch to meet my dearest boyfriend Teresa Yeap! Walked in and heard Sopranos mellifluous singing in 4E's classroom! Went in and the feeling of seeing juniors was really heartwarming! It's always good to feel young in a classroom rather than old in the working environment! After a while, Sops headed back to AVT for combine. Mr Toh wasn't there cause he's overseas with another Choir. I was pretty sad that I couldn't get to see him. :/ Didn't go down for his birthday celebration the week before tooooo! :( But oh ya, I gotta say this. I swear by hook or by crook I'm going to drag another person down when I'm going back Choir! It's really funny and weird that the whole Choir greets you and only you! "Good Afternoon Alumni!" Oh my god, I swear I didn't even bother to hide my awkwardness that some of the juniors laughed! But any-oh-how, my purpose was to meet Teresa and then head down to the Airport to send Riffin off! Oh god, and yes he's still in Venice enjoying April Fool's! :(

So in between after-choir and Airport, I headed over to Teresa's house while she showered and change into a fresh new set of clothes! Her parents were really nice and sweet to send us to the Airport. :) Uncle also wanted to try out his new lens and camera, and so we all headed down to the Airport together! Before we left, he even took several photos of us in Teresa's purple bedroom wall! Hee! :D And oh yes, felt so embarrassed for them to send me home after that! Oh well, boyfriend if you're seeing this : Thank youuuuuu & your sweet&nice awesome family! :D



`x estee x`

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now

Ooo, baby, I need you now



The feeling of needing someone yet I don't know who is that someone I want before me..
Maybe a lil' drop of Baileys? :/

`x estee x`

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Sentosa down, Dinner at Newton!

I want to go Sentosaaaaa! :( Yes and so in the end we didn't manage to go Sentosa on Saturday cause of the rain. But I was pretty much too tired to get my body out of my soft comfy bed! d: But hey! Dinner was really awesome! The oh-so-awesome Cheng Hua aka Manga Boy drove from Airport to fetch Kathy, Jerome and Me down to Newton while the rest train down on their own! Kathy had Beef Noodles, Jerome and Jason Char Kway Teow and I had Hokkien Mee! Then we had Popiah, Rojak, Satay, Carrot Cake, Stingray, etc. To sum up: Superb! :D

Then we all headed down to East Coast for a lil' walk and arcade! Hahaha, Daytona with Jason was the ultimate joke! Almost to the very end, I was behind Jason! Then I maxx all the way and lean the wall to emerge victory at the end! Hahahaha, Jason's reaction was totally EPIC when the results came out! Heee! :D Sorry Toi Toi!

I don't know.. I'm not sure about this at all. I'm just... just not prepared... for now. Can we just remain status quo? :/
`x estee x`

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Coffee Girl!

Okay, so I haven't been on the cyber year for like many thousand light years! But that's because I'm practically stucked with my coffee world for this two weeks! After the end of this week, I'm just going to pamper myself with all the rest I can get! Will update more really soon! Please take care everyone! :)

Spread the happy happy love!

`x estee x`

Sunday, March 7, 2010

I'll do whatever it takes.

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

Why is it that I do not know the pain and sufferings that people close to my hearts are feeling? Is everyone going to be okay? What exactly happened for the past few days? Please do take care of yourself, especially you two. I'm always here and will always be.

`x estee x`