I know deep right down I shouldn't be here...
But it's just.. I feel so down right now and lost and so I guess this is the only place I can turn to for venting my frustrations in a long form instead of Twitter (limiting 160 characters).
It's while animating my Scene 3 midway that I feel all broken deep down inside. It's been a roller-coaster ride for me this few days. I have really no control over my moodswings and sometimes I really wonder if I should just seek professional help for that. It just doesn't seem right how I am so emotionally unstable at times. Yes, I just choose to not show it. Everyone wants to show the strong side of themselves to everyone, and that of course includes me.
You see, compared to many others living out there, they are trying to fight for survival. Their problems make ours so minute that sometimes I really find myself a pain in the ass. A nuisance. I just can't bring myself to feel so positive at my down moment. It's all and all drowning me till it feels like I am deep down underwater. I don't quite mean literally. But it's like the exact feeling I will get when I am struggling underwater cause I can't swim. I try to kick myself up but I find myself going down again. It's like an inner struggle within myself and I know I have to rely on myself to step it up. Not baby, not anyone else. Just me, myself.
It's one more week exactly to submission. It's sinking in to me that I may not be able to do as well as I thought but I already find myself drowning deep under. The immense pressure that is taking a toll on my body and the expectations of the many others who believed in me...
Sorry guys, Estee just isn't good enough to present to you the best of her work. Cause she's just not good enough, never will be...
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