Time in the parallel universe

Have you ever wonder what would life be like if you are able to control time? Time. It is one thing everyone is fighting against, reaching out for. We know deep down - Life is short. But yet at times we just let it pass by every second just like that. Everyone, and I mean everyone would have wasted at least one second of their life. One second someone could be struggling for survival at the borders between Mexico and the United States. Another second, a new-born baby is trying its very best to be getting out of his or her mother's womb. And another would star just a lonely soul looking at the sky aimlessly, deciding what should their next step be.

Has it been human nature for taking things for granted?

At times, I look at myself and I wonder... How's life gonna be after I graduate, step out of my diploma years. I planned many many roads for myself... too many that now I am at a total loss of what I want to achieve. It is now in this peace and serenity, a space of my own while everyone is sound asleep, that I find myself penning down these emotional thoughts here silently.

Fear. Definitely. FYP is something I should be constantly worried for now. It is the last phase of my poly year, and then I will be a free bird - or rather, a lost bird. The motivation to keep me going has been there indeed. But whenever a though distance me away from what I should be concentrating on, I find myself lost in the dark woods. However I seem to walk or run, I am just unable to reach out for the light.

I know I'm not alone. The love and warmth that my dearly beloved boy is giving has been unconditional and selfless. I am very contented and proud to have him by my side. Though for now he's going through his National Service with the Singapore Police Force at Home Team Academy... we would always try to make full use of that very limited time we have together. It's really no mean feat surviving and supporting this relationship for eight months. Well, I know some of you out there may think it's just eight months.. but these eight months felt like eight years to me, to us. And we know for sure, this road of uncertainty has its ups and downs, but what's a relationship with no challenge, right?

Ok, guess I am just too tired to stay on track of the contents I said.. I am one messed up girl indeed.

I probably just need some time to myself and really think of the future...

Love,

Estee